:: incomplete ::
"well done... but you..... and if you have......"
sigh...
when you are "terror" enough, you'll know how to talk in a way like that.
when you are "smart" enought, you'll feel more stressful than you are now.
and i'm exactly in that position.
the day is not over yet.
but i know mine is over.
i had no appetite although looking at all the delicious food.
but i just can't taste them.
when you tell some one you want to have dinner with him/her (eating or not eating)
he can give you 2 reasons that he does not want or he cannot.
how sad.
but it's true.
i got turned down this way.
so i'm really "eat myself"
Labels: princess' life, princess' rant, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess a new week has come. btw, thanks all for being around. sadhu sadhu sadhu Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' thought
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Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' rant, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' rant, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' rant, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' rant, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' rant, princess' thought
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Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess Labels: princess' life, princess' rant, princess' thought
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess
@
10:59:00 PM
:: self-indulgence ::
@
10:57:00 PM
:: whatever it is ::
people always say... nobody is supposed to give you happiness but you are supposed to find it yourself.
and last night, i cried for the last time.
i promised not to cry over it anymore.
i promised to let go.
i promised to look forward.
and the most important one, i promised to BE MYSELF.
the holiest, most virtuous, wisest and most spiritually perfect personality who had ever lived - the buddha.
thanks for the blessing in disguise.
i will still carry the little booklet around.
i will remember the teaching.
i will always know.... there is a reason.
when condition does not allow me to have it, i shall not force it.
i look forward to for new challenges.
i love you.
you deserve my cheerfulness always.
i will try my best to make you happy!!!
@
12:05:00 AM
:: 我的心 ::
我把我们的拼图带回来了
每一次我都留着泪把一小片一小片的拼上去
想起我们过去的一切
快乐的 不快乐的
浪漫的 不浪漫的
有趣的 不有趣的
一幕一幕的在脑海里出现的
我真的不知道要怎样去说服自己
但我知道无论结果是什么
我还是要坦然面对
如果我们还会重新相遇
我会把它结束的比较完美
我不会让你决定我的伤心
@
11:53:00 AM
:: i don't need ::
because this is where i communicate.
i have made a final decision.
if he insists to lie to me, it's okay.
if he thinks that the other girl is more important than me, it's okay.
if he wants to ruin the relationship because of her, it's okay.
if he does not want to make me happy anymore, it's okay.
it's okay.
because today, i have learnt to be.. quiet.
i will just ignore till she is gone.
i do not know how much she wants to talk to him or how much he wants to talk to her.
but it's fine.
i know i can't interfere and i can't talk.
at this minute, this second, whatever that i'm gonna tell is rubbish in his eyes.
that shows how shallow i am.
so i will stick to my principle.
i will keep quiet till everything i request is done.
the most is ACT to be talkative, but it's only applicable if there is third party around.
我真的失去了太多。
我不想再失去了我的原则。
我说过了这样就是这样。
我宁愿要一个真心爱护我的人比一个说一套做一套的人。
i have to be firm.
i have told you what i wanted and i will stick to it.
i'm not flee market.
no matter i love you, i do not allow bargaining this round.
that is my the last.
or it's a good bye.
@
7:50:00 PM
:: one last time ::
there will only be one answer.
and the answer will only be
i) i'll be happy ever after or
ii) i'll be free and easy.
pls allow me to MIA for a week or two.
i am really tired crying every nite.
my health condition is turning bad.
i'm afraid my ultrasound on friday will show bad results.
@
10:26:00 PM
:: confused ::
i'm confused.
i do not know what to do.
i'm scared.
i'm really scared.
i know i can't go back to the past.
i just want to be happy.
is it that hard?
@
11:52:00 PM
:: did i ever tell you ::
i better tell all of you now if i have not.
if you hurt the one that loved you so much....
then there'll not be good thing happens to the one you love so much.
it's not a curse.
it's just karma.
it's up to you to believe or not.
but i have seen it.
luckily....
i'm not the one that being loved very much.
but unfortunately i'm the one that love someone very much.
be neutral...
be pleasant...
i'll definitely make it.
i need to go and read the dhamma book.
oh.. btw... i have just spent 200 bucks in 2 hours.
i'm broke!
@
5:20:00 PM
:: my instinct told me... ::
he really did that to me.
my tears welled in my eyes.
but i do not let them drop..
i do not want to shout at that anymore.
the paper can never catch the fire.
so.. i wait for the day to tell.
seriously i'm not happy.
but i have to move on..
focus... and i'll make it.
@
8:27:00 PM
:: considering ::
i feel lighter... i mean my shoulder!! not the scale.
no more talking about marriage.
let go...
no more thinking about relationship.
let go...
because, i do not even know he is committed to the relationship or not.
so just do not think too much lah.
make more money first loh.......
@
11:51:00 PM
:: ashamed of... ::
his mom does not know my name.
his mom does not know he has a gf..
so what am i?
i'm ashamed of myself too..
i can die tomorrow.
at least i get to see my mom and she feels proud of me.
i also have parents... but just that they do not care so much of me.
@
11:55:00 PM
:: pet ::
i'm not even the macbook that you touch and play with everyday.
i'm not even the pc at work that you use everyday.
i'm not even the iphone that you look at every 5 mins.
i'm not even the email that you check every day.
what am i?
i'm the stupidest pet you have.
you do not ask about me.
you do not tell me.
you do not share with me.
so what am i?
@
11:21:00 PM
:: the 9th ::
but i'm happy.
i'm more independent today.
work is helping me.
tomorrow early morning i need to chase the bankers for documents.
feel like giving some 2 big slaps.
wake up man.. dun repeat the mistake lah!
I'M REALLY BUSY AND MAD..
or the somebody will 'diao' me...
@
10:05:00 PM
:: update ::
today i felt i do not mind to spend my time working as long as it's productive.
but recently i feel dizziness always.
i was walking in the banking hall..
and i realise i can't walk in a straight line and i can't see and hear things clearly.
i take a deep breathe and i sit down quietly for a while.
after a while... i felt a little better.
but i think i might been having health problem.
and at time, i feel that i'm really NOTHING!!!
i'm nothing to him.
he really does not care.
do you think he reads the blog? no, never... it's impossible.
maybe till the day i die or maybe never.
to him, i'm just doing a useless job.
nothing great.
to him, i'm never attractive.
nothing beautiful.
you see how shallow that is.
you see how upset i am.
but so what?
one day, if you do not hear from me anymore..
it means i'm gone...
@
11:36:00 PM
:: family problem ::
but somehow nobody likes it.
my dad brought somebodyhome.
i do not like it.
but i have not spoken a word.
my sis called my dad to tell him to bring the somebody away.
my sis called me to ask me to chase the somebody away.
to me...
i am neutral.
i know i do not like that somebody to step into the room.
but i also know my father is old and he has no one to take care of him.
but why must the somebody be that somebody?
can't we have a decent somebody?
tell me, what can i do?
like i always say.. i want to leave.
there are just too many reasons for me to leave.
@
11:47:00 PM
:: i know ::
but i keep quiet.
i must be strong.
the flowers make me smile but they do not make me happy.
i want the truth.
but you are creating more stories to cover the lie.
i'm sad.
i'm hurt.
but you've never care.
@
12:21:00 AM
:: fat fat fat ::
luckily i was trying the dress bought months ago.
it's so tight now.
omg... i can't fit in dee.
luckily i still have the dress bought long ago.
die die have to wear since i din buy any new dress.
omg...
i want to commit suicide.
i'm so fat to such a point.
a dress bought in june and i can't wear now.
kill me pls.
i don't want to eat anymore.
@
1:17:00 AM
:: 是你决定我的伤心 ::
(女)我曾经以为 那是一次潇洒的邂逅
所以我一直相信 能够轻易说HELLO
抱着游戏的心情
考验自己没有防备的感情
不在乎自己有没有这种能力
(男)我必须承认 不敢释放我的真情
所以我相信也会是你的问题
太多太多的激情 闯进尘封已久的禁地
让我们失去选择的余地
(男)是你决定我的伤心
(女)是你决定我的伤心
(合)如果我们还会重新相遇
(女)我会用感觉
(合)拥有所有的你
(男)是你决定我的伤心
(女)是你决定我的伤心
(合)如果我们还会重新相遇
(女)我不会让你
(合)决定我的伤心
(男)相信我 不是有意打扰你的心
但我如何会知道
竟会是你决定我的伤心
(女)我必须承认
不敢释放我的真情
所以我相信也会是你的问题
(男)太多太多的激情
闯进尘封已久的禁地让我们失去选择的余地
@
4:38:00 AM
:: mission must be accomplished ::
he has been complaining that i'm fat fat fat and wide wide wide.
ok fine.
i need to watch my diet really carefully.
i cannot eat late at night anymore.
no more rice ..
:
@
10:49:00 PM
:: post birthday ::
but i was not happy for being 24 years old.
no birthday cake
no birthday bouquet
no birthday dinner like i wanted to.
basically... it was nothing.
i was just crying and still dreaming a good one like i wanted all the time.
@
12:46:00 AM
i write my fairy tale.
i'm imperfect.
i'm lame.
i'm indecisive.
i'm just a normal girl, spending time, on earth.
i have my own piece of mind.
so don't bother to convince me with your thinking.
i dream on because i have faith in me. :)
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