Sunday, June 18, 2006
:: Depression ::
I find it very hard to move on.
But i'm still working on it.
I went for a talk in the morning...
I'm certified to have depression... because they have a checklist..
out of 10 i kena 6.... or more...
Look here...
Diagnostic Criteria:
Major Depressive Disorder
1. Depressed Mood (feeling sad, empty, tearful) nearly everyday
- Yeah... everyday for me
2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in most activity
- Yeah, I'm not watching football.. I don't do shopping... I'm not excited when i see SHOES... I'm not excited when i see food... I don't dare to go to the places where I like to go.
3. Significant change of appetite or weight
- I'm not eating well.. one or two meals each day just to make sure i have the energy.
4. Insomnia or hypersomia nearly everyday
- I can't really sleep... If i fall asleep, I'll have nightmare.
5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation
- I can't remember what this mean.
6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly everyday
- I don't feel like walking.. I will just sit there and do nothing almost everyday.
7. Feeling of uselessness or inappropriate guilt
- I am useless... I can't control my temper. I made a lot of mistakes.. I ruin the r/ships.
8. Decreased ability to think, to concentrate or to make decision everyday
- I can't remember things I did, I said. I forgot about my ic for 2 days.. I don't know if i want to do anything as well.
9. Recurrent thought of death or suicidal ideas or suicidal plans or attempts
- As at now.. i'm not doing or thinking of this yet. But if I don't get well, I don't know what willhappen to me later.
Oh.. not 10 .. by 9..
But there is another one that is not in the checklist..
Which is you'll feel sick or pain in your body.... Then you'll see doctors here and there still the doctors don't discover anything. That's what the speaker said as "Doctor Shopping".
As at now.. I don't go for doctor shopping.
I'm going for a clinic on wed nite..
If my case get worse, I'll need treatment.
I lost a major support.. not just a relationship...
I'm trying hard to stand and walk again...
But I can never stand properly.
Having killed anger you sleep in ease.
Having killed anger you do not grieve.
The noble ones praise the slaying of anger
-- with its honeyed crest & poison root
-- for having killed it you do not grieve.
Samyutta Nikaya II, 70
But i'm still working on it.
I went for a talk in the morning...
I'm certified to have depression... because they have a checklist..
out of 10 i kena 6.... or more...
Look here...
Diagnostic Criteria:
Major Depressive Disorder
1. Depressed Mood (feeling sad, empty, tearful) nearly everyday
- Yeah... everyday for me
2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in most activity
- Yeah, I'm not watching football.. I don't do shopping... I'm not excited when i see SHOES... I'm not excited when i see food... I don't dare to go to the places where I like to go.
3. Significant change of appetite or weight
- I'm not eating well.. one or two meals each day just to make sure i have the energy.
4. Insomnia or hypersomia nearly everyday
- I can't really sleep... If i fall asleep, I'll have nightmare.
5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation
- I can't remember what this mean.
6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly everyday
- I don't feel like walking.. I will just sit there and do nothing almost everyday.
7. Feeling of uselessness or inappropriate guilt
- I am useless... I can't control my temper. I made a lot of mistakes.. I ruin the r/ships.
8. Decreased ability to think, to concentrate or to make decision everyday
- I can't remember things I did, I said. I forgot about my ic for 2 days.. I don't know if i want to do anything as well.
9. Recurrent thought of death or suicidal ideas or suicidal plans or attempts
- As at now.. i'm not doing or thinking of this yet. But if I don't get well, I don't know what willhappen to me later.
Oh.. not 10 .. by 9..
But there is another one that is not in the checklist..
Which is you'll feel sick or pain in your body.... Then you'll see doctors here and there still the doctors don't discover anything. That's what the speaker said as "Doctor Shopping".
As at now.. I don't go for doctor shopping.
I'm going for a clinic on wed nite..
If my case get worse, I'll need treatment.
I lost a major support.. not just a relationship...
I'm trying hard to stand and walk again...
But I can never stand properly.
Having killed anger you sleep in ease.
Having killed anger you do not grieve.
The noble ones praise the slaying of anger
-- with its honeyed crest & poison root
-- for having killed it you do not grieve.
Samyutta Nikaya II, 70
Sealed with a Kiss of Baby Princess
@
11:29:00 PM
ME
i write my fairy tale.
i'm imperfect.
i'm lame.
i'm indecisive.
i'm just a normal girl, spending time, on earth.
i have my own piece of mind.
so don't bother to convince me with your thinking.
i dream on because i have faith in me. :)
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