(note: the chance of you reading this is tiny but i do not want to send it out to you.)


it is really good seeing you smile.
it is really happy knowing you are being happy.
it is really wonderful wishing you from here.
and i know the wishes come true.


i don't quite like telling the world about you.
i don't quite like thinking about the past.
i don't quite like drowning in the memory.
and i hope all that can make up to memorable history for us to learn from.

i am relieved.
i am free.
i have released.
and i hope you enjoy as well.

i have never denied that time spent with you is wonderful.
i have never denied that the insecurity made one becoming more possesive.
i have never denied that effort made is worthwhile.
and i am glad i have realised.

if i saw you yesterday, i might hide.
if i see you today, i will definitely smile.
if i were to see you in the future, i hope you'll know, the wishes from the bottom of my heart.


thanks for believing the sincerity and happiness that i have brought.
i believe the love and effort that you have made.
but unfortunately ......



i hope you know...
i hope you remember...
and i wish i can forget all about you....
but the fact is.... although you are not here.
the shadow is always here.





omg.. it took me one week to complete this.
and finally, i have decided to finish it. and i had a very very very bad dream about love.
omg omg omg.

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

once i told myself to love with no regret.
and i am still telling myself to love with no regret.

but today ah...
i have this doubt in me.

even you are putting all your heart in even just a friendship, do you think your friend is gonna appreciate you?
in fact, i tell you.. i'm being pressured.

so i told myself...
i am still loving with no regret.
but i want to hold back a little in believing.

i am still looking forward.
that's me.

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

my race has started.
i'm racing with time.
i want to learn to love.
so is there anyone out there interested to learn together?

btw, i foresee i'm getting very sick these few days.
but i still need to drag myself to work.
having a product briefing tmrw early morning in klang.
and... it's month end.
busy busy busy.

if i'm sick, will you call me to sayang me a bit?

oh ya, pS was playing with PS3 today.
omg, i was playing a football game - the only game available.
skills to be improved but i have the talent.
:P

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

i ate that many.
pls dun count kay, i feel shy.

Labels: food and beverages, princess at work, princess' life, princess' thought

i found out about this particular person recently.
it is not so convenient to disclose about this person.


i did not know until i was told.
but it's quite scary also lah.
i do not know if i'm being stalked.
but pls lah..... stop doing that lah!


in my teleconversation with a friend, i did not this person has actually talked about me before and i do not know this person in person.
this person actually rantcomplainshout about me.
and this person hope the message can be conveyed to me.


unfortunately, my friend did not do that during that time but until yesterday.
i'm quite blessed i wasn't being hurt that time.
i will not let this person affected me anymore in the future by seeing anything about this person.
it's just way too far ahead for me to learn to be like this person.


i, me and myself. announce that i will not be a third party to others.
(oppsss... did i say something not right?)
well, i believe in karma.
i try not to break others' relationship and i hope others will not do that to me too!


although i'm very loud, very chou lou like a boy, very fierce, very emotional, very weird...
but i'm still pure-hearted!
wei, i did not pre-plan things or did not plan for any revenge.
so please, don't pollute my thinking.


i know i'm this silly that i do not mind to be hurt.
but i just want you to be happy because you are part of my life.
today, i still choose to be simple and stupid than complicated and cunning.
is it that difficult seeing me being happy?

call me a failure if you like.
i do not really care.

gods know why.

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought, silly princess

like one of the last to know and to confirm about.
of course, as usual, i burst loh!!

there was noone's fault but perhaps, mine!!!
i made people do that to me.
omg... it was me!!!
i'm such an idiot.

well, chuan horng reached an agreement with me.
but in case he is getting married within 5 years from now, then my plan sure tak jadi dee.
thus, i still need to find few more others for agreement.

i'm getting a little crazy nowadays.
lol!

how was your v day?

honestly, i was not feeling that upset for not having that loved one by my side yesterday.
to me, it was just a normal saturday.
though, last year i had a more unusual celebration in conjunction with the hokkien 'tin gong' thingy. and then ......

well... i'm pretty fine now.
i've said enough.
i have to work it out.

i know there are these people that i'm supposed to see.....
but i feel so reluctant to do so.
there is no reason.
i do not want to waste their time.

what have you received for v day?
i have got myself the most expensive pressie.
i have finally decided on the trip due to that much pressures from the fund accountant.
we are seeing my fund manager (MIA some more lah?)

unsure if leave applied is approved.
but i know it clashes with one of bank major event.
thus... it is for sure to kena dee lah.

a wedding dinner to attend tonight.
sigh.... loner!
oh well, i din rant kay!

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

dear j,

i know you have moved on.
i know you have found someone better.
i know you have forgotten about the memory.
i know you have better things to do in life.

whatever it is, i am still happy for you.
i am glad that you have finally found someone suits and understands you.
although i envy the lucky girl but i still hope she will always be by your side to love and support you.

i just hope that you will be happy.
i have done all that i can.
i have sent my apology.
i have left as you wish.

it is really my wish to see you being happy.
no matter what others are saying about me, i still will tell you the same old thing.

'i have loved you enough that i am willing to do all if you asked me to.'
since, i'm asked to leave, then i really need to leave.

in the world, there is only one and only j that i'll miss.
i'll not forget anything that has happened.
i'll keep them always.

all the best.


love always!

Labels: dear j

you'll feel bored.

and this thing has been with me for 2 days.
headache, dizziness, feeling like vomitting (i tahan lah), no appetite.
okay. i assure you it's not pregnancy symptom.
but i'm just wondering why.

i cannot tahan.
i need to work.
it's very very tiring driving up and down.

okay okay. i promise to stop ranting.
i better stop.
if the next time i complain or i rant, pls scold me.
i must be contended with what i have.
i cannot blame anybody.

someone... no no.. more than one, actually commented i lost a bit of weight.
ya. i lost a bit.
because these two days, i did not really eat.
i was just munching a little on bread, roti and a little of noodles.

if admission comes early, then i have to go.
if the worst has to be happened, i have to face it.
if i need to say goodbye, i will smile the widest just in case you forget.

:)

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

i do not know how many of you do not like me.
i do not know how many of you think that i am a bitch.
i do not know how many of you complain about my words and attitude.
i do not know how many of you want me to fail in life.

but i know

i do not live for you.
i do not need you to contribute to my happiness.
i do not want to curse about you.
i do not want the unhappy things to happen to you.

all that i have learnt today is

i do not want to take it so hard anymore.
i just want to be simple.
i do not want to scream about life.
i just want to be happy.

i know it is never easy to live life just like it is everyday.
but i need to move on and look forward.
i know it is never easy to please everybody.
but i need to accept and let go.

i hope every other day that i wake up
i will still see the sunshine.
i hope every other day that i live
i will still see the world.

i'm sorry if i haven't been reaching an agreement with you.
i'm sorry if i haven't been nice and true to you.
i'm sorry if i have spoken the very harsh words to you.
i'm sorry if i have taken you for granted.

i sincerely apologise.
no matter if you forgive me or you do not,
yours truly thanks you for everything you have done.
yours truly is gratitude to have known you as friends.

if one day i am no longer around,
i wish you will remember my lousiness, auntiness, craziness, kan-cheong-ness, rants, swearing, childish thinking.
i do not mind if i have nothing good to be remembered,
but as long as you remember.

i am very forgetful.
i do not remember the bad things.
but i know if i'm lying forever, i will not know anything anymore.
so what happened in the past, it does not matter anymore.

every day is a new lesson.
i have flipped to the new chapter.
it is really up to you to love or to hate now.

:)

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

when i was told about the loss of Markus, i was shocked.
it is not the first time that i've heard about people never wake up from sleep anymore.
but i really did not expect it to be happened to any of my friends.

i'm not closed to markus.
but all that i know is he is a mr. nice guy.
he has been polite to friends.
he is knowledgeble, talented...
he is serious and yet humourous too.

i do not need to say much or describe him.
you, that know him, definitely know more than i do.
if i were just merely a classmate to him, is feeling sad for his loss, i believe you do not feel any better than me.

hereby, i would like to send my deepest condolences to markus' family.

dear markus,

may you rest in peace.
may you be with god in heaven.
may you not suffer from pain anymore.
we will all miss you.

dear friends,

be strong.
i believe he wants us to be happy in life.

pls remember this last message he put on fb:-
Markus Ng braces for another long day. joy of joys!

we shall all make it for him.
joy of joys!

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

i look into the mailbox.

for a reply.

but i turn it off with disappointment.

i look into the messages.

for memory.

and i sleep with hope...

hoping that i wake up seeing your smile.

but now, i do not sleep.

because i am looking at the picture, smiling at me.

the smile with the teeth.
the smile with the eyes.
the smile that i thought i see myself in your eyes.
the smile that i thought i have forgotten.

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought

hello people.
i haven't been doing review on food for sosososososo long.

well, one of these days cousin dragged me to Klang for seafood.
i'm always in Klang. At least once a week.
she wanted to go to Teluk Gong but it was raining heavily that day.
so i suggested to go to Pandamaran and this place is highly recommended by the bankers.
and the coconut flower garden in teluk gong doesn't taste that good anymore during my second visit there last year with fellow bankers.

we had

Labels: food and beverages, princess' life, princess' thought