since young, i'm never a thin person.
i am always chubby or you can call me FAT from time to time.
maybe the only time you see me losing weight is when i have a serious heartbreak..
which i think it happened 3 times, so far.

honestly, it is not so hard to please but once i am in very bad mood, it tends to take a little effort to think of what to make me smile again.
my mom knows best what to do all time.
and somehow i feel that, she knew my appetite very much.
seeing me putting on weight, she'll cut down food that i like for when she was preparing for lunch/dinner.
knowing i have very choosy tastebud, she prepared things that i won't eat much.
vice versa.

i dropped by the sundry shop today to get some dates.
saw loads of mooncakes over the counter.
and i found this




omg...
it reminds me of mama.
she used to buy me this every year around the mooncake festival.
i brought to school, to tuition..
for breakfast/snack.

i think all of you have seen this biscuit elsewhere especially in market.
but the taste is really 'normal'.
what is great about this biscuit today...
to me, it's more like a memory.
it reminds me of my plain like vanilla kind of childhood that i only spent time with my mom.

buying the biscuit and eating it certainly make me smile.
but if i am able to tell her... i'll definitely say
mama, i love you.
i know it's impossible.

i thought of sending 'him' some of these biscuits.
i miss 'him' too.
i thought of sharing my thoughts with 'him'.
i know i fell for 'him' after so many years, again.
but again, i know it's impossible.
though today i'm waiting for that impossible.

dear you, i miss you.
i remember what you said before you left.
i really thought of telling you this when i saw you.
'shall we?'

but.... you are already seeing someone.