every year, without fail, i will write down the things to be accomplished.
so fast it has been a year.
this time, i did not go anywhere.
i am home.
it is not any merrier than last year.
but i have my babies with me, not in full force.
4 missing.... and the dearest big daddy is missing too.
i miss them. but nothing i can do.
i can only think about them... miss them.... and love them from the heart.

everyone is bidding farewell to 2008 and welcoming 2009 with the widest smile.
i want to be one of them.... to smile.... and say hi to 2009.
i am one that saying goodbye to the past.
i thought i would love 2008 as compared to 2007.
but i don't.
i do not want to remember anything in 2008.
if i do have a choice, i want to lose all the memory.
they are such a painful chunk for me to remember.
i have no choice. i can't look back. i can only look forward.

my new year resolutions:-





1. Career
It is not so much about the money. It is more about career advancement. Honestly speaking, I want to learn everything that I can in a firm but I am not sure how much chance the bosses giving. I want to strive for the best. If I realise I am not appreciated, I will move on. Someone adviced me that... it's no longer about loyalty to the company, but it's about career path and future. As at now, I have not thought of looking for a job as I am still pretty new in the company and the industry. I just want to learn....... and improve.

2. Relationship
It was not a good one this year. I made mistake again. I stepped in too deep. I can't pull myself out. I have been crying and tearing a lot in 2008. I live in the past. I live in their past. I was not happy. I was affected by their past. I was wrong. I ruin everything with my hands. I do not want to look backward and find fault on anybody. I want to look forward. I want to smile. I do not want to cry anymore. I just want to be happy eventhough I am alone.

3. Savings/Money
Market has been so volatile and everybody thinks that it is gonna be a worse year in 2009. So i shall stop spending that much and do more saving. I have purchased new insurance plan in 2008 and I think I will buy another plan in 2009. Well, it is gonna be a big chunck of my salary but I have got no choice. I need to protect myself. I am also saving to get myself a new liability.

4. Friendships
I appreciate all our frienships. I would love to keep in touch with all my friends. Please always let me know if there is some outings!!! I want to meet up with you guys always. I want to have my own network. Do not worry, I really love you very much.

5. Learn something new
I want to learn piano. I need something to fill my time. I am no more one that rely on others. I do not need anybody to fill my time. I will search for my own happiness. With less expectation, I will have less disappointment. I also want to read and read and read!!! Self-improvement is always the best.



i do not know what to continue with.... because i do not know how to face the reality... face myself. i just know i want to be strong... tough... happy...

if i really have a choice, i would go back to a year ago... and choose to maintain only a friendship than developing a relationship. at least, i am not sitting at home now to cry.

Labels: princess' life, princess' thought